


Doritos

by unpoised



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, Like, it's there, there isn't even any obvious valduggery it's just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 22:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1619957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unpoised/pseuds/unpoised
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valkyrie likes to eat Doritos at inappropriate times- such as when she's wearing a fancy dress and is about to attend a ball.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doritos

**Author's Note:**

> this is v short and took me like 10 minutes to write, and i'm sorry about the fact that it's fucking terrible, but its only purpose is to get me through revision so you'll have to forgive me

When Valkyrie entered the room the night of the Requiem Ball, donned in another stunning black gown- a Bespoke creation this time- and looking even more beautiful than usual, Skulduggery had to do a double take.

“Valkyrie…”

She looked at him with a raise eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Are you... eating Doritos in your ballgown?”

She paused mid-chew and glanced down at the bright orange bag in her hands, then looked up at Skulduggery and said, mouth still full, “Yeah, why?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

A frown creased her face as she gulped down the Dorito. “What do you mean, I’m ridiculous?”

“You’re eating Doritos in a ballgown.”

“And your problem is…?”

“Ghastly worked very hard to make that for you,” he said, head tilting to one side and arms crossing over his tuxedo-clad ribs, “and you’re using it to wipe Dorito powder from your hands.”

Her hands froze in the mid-air, centimetres from her silk-clad thighs, and she wiped the sheepish look from her face to replace it with one of nonchalance. “I obviously wasn’t going to wipe my hands on the dress, you moron,” she said with an eye-roll.

“Yes, you were,”

Her shoulders sagged. “I forgot I was wearing it.”

“No, you didn’t.”

She drooped even further, then perked up and examined him as he stood there in his sharp tuxedo. “Nice,” she commented, lifting an eyebrow appraisingly. “Did Ghastly make that for you?”

“No,” Skulduggery said, reaching up to adjust the bowtie, despite the fact that it was already perfect. “He was too busy making your dress. Not that you seem to care about that,” he said, and she knew that his gaze was honed in on the bag of Doritos that she was still eating. She hesitated, then dropped them onto the desk next to her.

“You’d be eating them too, if you could,” she muttered grumpily.

“I don’t imagine that I would be.”

“You would.” Then she smiled and did a little twirl in her dress. “Okay, so tell me: on a scale of one to ten, how hot do I look in this?”

“Very beautiful,” he said.

She grinned. “So a ten, you’d say?”

“Ah,” he said, “I’d actually say it’s closer to a four.” She glared, and he chuckled as he walked past her and out the door.

“Hilarious,” she muttered dryly, and she indignantly picked up her unfinished bag of Doritos before following him out to the Bentley.


End file.
